Ah, the rare book trade, where curmudgeonly defensiveness is the order of every day, and determined amateurism reigns almost unchallenged. I understand. I love books, and I know many people go into “business” selling books as an “alternative” to working in “business.” That’s fine, and I agree that the non-corporate, or at least non-commercial, aspects of the field are precisely what provide it with much of its gentlemanly, old-world, eccentric charm.

However, some guys are simply beyond the pale. I must share an exchange a friend recently had with a rare book seller, names withheld to protect the guilty.

Scenario: my friend is interested in possibly purchasing a 19th-century book for himself. This is his first and only message to the bookseller. It proved to be quite the provocation, as you’ll see.

Hello,

Do you have an image of this book available?  Thank you in advance!

Best,

NAME WITHHELD

That is all he wrote. Perfectly innocent, you might agree. But no! The bookseller promptly replies thusly:

Hi, NAME WITHHELD,

No, we are not set up to send photos.

Someday, I suppose, when I no longer have a “day job,” I (there is no “staff”) will post photos of some of our pricier books — since customers accustomed to eBay now seem to expect this, though I have happily bought books and coins priced at more than $1,000 apiece based on the descriptions of reputable dealers, without needing to see a picture.

Frankly, a photo of the front board is rarely as useful as a detailed and accurate description, which we do provide (somewhat laboriously) in every case.

The book in question is worth about $45, as near as we can determine. (The other comparable copy currently listed on ABE is $50.) We started this one at $37.50 a couple of years ago (following our usual policy of starting “below market”), marked it down to $27.50, then to $22.50, and finally to $17.50. The charm of the book lies in the excellent quality of the glossy B&W internal illustrations, anyway.

Probably you should not buy this book. It should go to someone who intends to read it to a child, one chapter at a time.

But thanks for your inquiry,

NAME WITHHELD
BOOKSTORE NAME WITHHELD
CITY WITHHELD

So, a professional bookseller’s answer to potential client contains the following points of interest. Pay attention aspiring booksellers!

1. You are personally responsible for the poor state of my financial and work affairs, by extension my sense of well-being and happiness as well.

2. I spend thousands of dollars on things I haven’t seen, so you should too. 

3. My descriptions are “laborious.”

4. My other job is so bizarre that it must appear in scare quotes, as does the notion of me ever having a staff.

5. The entire pricing history of this book is relevant to this transaction, as well as the current price of the book with other booksellers, because you did not see that information on your screen inches from my listing.

6. You should not buy this book, because . . . you wanted to see what it looks like before giving me money. 

7. I will assume you, the buyer, do not have a child and have no intention of reading this book, “one chapter at a time,” to the non-existent child.

8. I must control what happens to this book after I sell it, and I am not selling it to you anyway.

9. The “charm of the book lies in the excellent quality of the glossy B&W internal illustrations,” but it should “go to someone who intends to read it to a child, one chapter at a time.” [Emphasis added to emphasize the batshit crazy logic in play. – E]

10. So what are you still doing even thinking of buying my book??? How dare you try to buy the book I listed for sale! This transaction is now finished.

Those of us in the trade are regularly subjected to jeremiads about the uncertain future of the rare book business. A start? How about selling books publicly listed for sale. Too much to ask? Perhaps, perhaps. – E