Drunker with each snifter downed
And older by the minute,
You wonder where the trouble lies
Despite your drowning in it.
The stereo is up-to-date
And blares out the Replacements,
Returning you to summer days
You spent bombed out in basements.
This is the alternative,
The hipster’s rise to favour,
The halcyon year of jubilee
The Alpha and Omega.
The girl’s stacked up with silicone,
A batshit crazy boozer.
She’ll ride you raw with expertise
As long as you amuse her.
The lounge is laced with ecstasy;
She fumbles with your britches
And tracks the furrows other girls
Had dug in blue-jean ditches.
This is the alternative,
The advertising’s target.
An angry generation still
Spends money on the market.
An earring and a sticker on
The bumper of a Lexus
Mark a demographic, an
Expansion of the nexus.
There’s punk rock on the radio,
On cell phones and commercials.
There’s punk rock in your hard-on, though
It’s seeing some reversals.
This is the alternative
To starched-up, stuck-up culture.
It dominates the boardroom like
An avant-gardist sculpture.
A dream home heartache? Not so fast!
You never were quite vice-less.
The salary is 80K—
The attitude is priceless.
A plutocrat in rented rooms,
An erstwhile hand at protest—
Back on the wagon for a while
So you can pass your drug test.
This is the alternative.
The children raise their voices
In choruses learned from TV sets
Insinuating choices.
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